Taffy the Laffy Samoyed Stories

Well last night before it got dark I decided to take Big Taffy (our adopted stray from who knows where male pup) for a walk. Now he loves to go to Miss Casey's house and run around her yard with her, but Miss Casey has a hip problem and the last time he romped with her she could not walk well for a couple days. So I decided to see if I could take Taff and Miss Casey for a walk together. What an adventure that was!!!

Miss Casey is the neighbors little reddish Border Collie, probably around 25 lbs, maybe 2 years old. Since I don't know how old the Taff is ( I am guessing under a year), I am not sure if she considers him a big redneck pup or just a redneck, either way it was very apparent after 10 feet, she was in charge of this walk and the "big pushy burping boy" better shape up or else hahaha.

Now I'll admit that the Taff is a tad spoiled, total strangers seem compelled to come up and run their hands through all that fluffy white fur ,I think he fancies himself a charmer with his smiling face. Miss Casey was not a bit impressed, I think the only reason she decided to go on this walk in the first place was as a kindness to me and not the big hulk trying to smell her butt.

Right off the bat Miss Casey made it VERY clear she was the lead dog. I had them on two separate leashes, it ended up with one in front of me and "big fur bear" crowding my legs just behind me. Now Taff has a harness which is about 2 inches wide and between the harness and the 6 foot leash, is a big 6 inch spring, just to cushion the lunges between that harness and my arm socket. I can also yank his front feet up in the air which drops his pulling power form 1000 lbs to about 100 lbs so that gives me a 25 lb advantage, close but I'm tough. The Taff basically travels with his head up, his eyes on the horizon, legs extended and belly down, sort of lunging and bounding along while yipping his head off. Any of you out there who have ever driven a run away mule, stung by a bee, can empathize.

Miss Casey had only a collar and another 6 foot leash, she basically traveled with her nose down, in a beeline, with just enough speed to keep the leash tight, but not enough to make her eyes bulge, lips turn blue, and tongue swell up, like Taff does on a leash. I could hardly tell there was dog on the end.

Now Taff is afraid of all dogs, we have no idea why. He does try to make friends, but he is not real up on foreign dog body language, obviously the nature of his breed (snow dog-Samoyed) is to prance up with tail, head and ears up, looking you right in the eye, face to face he wants to lick, jump up and bark or burp. Apparently, in Miss Casey's breed world (Border Collie), proper etiquette is to come up with head, ears, tail, and eyes down, QUIETLY, and wait for her permission to approach close enough to sniff. ALSO under no circumstance even think about walking ahead of her, not ever. Big faux-pas or faux-paw as the case may be..hahaha.

Miss Casey is also a master of the "Mary look" (as the neighbor's young daughter calls it), Taff knows the "Mary look", it consists of a drop dead in your face stare, show the white of the eyeballs, and flash fangs, accompanied by pointing. Sort of a "one more move and you die" challenge. Come to think of it I did perfect that look, first on my unruly children in public places, and then later on the midnight shift in a convenience store, where I worked with many animals, some too drunk to comprehend the spoken word hahaha.

So here we are off on our little trek. Now I walked them down the gage, which is in between the rails on the outside main track here, simply because of the huge number of trucks coming into the industrial park, some local drivers who, I believe, are secretly in training to run the NASCAR circuit, and the fact I know when the trains run here DA. The down side is the sharpness of the ballast rocks on dog paws, now Taff walks it every day, his paws are like Elephant hide, and I have boots, but I was concerned for Miss Casey's paws so I resolved to only walk them to the crossover switch, about 1/2 mile.

Well first off "big bear fur ball", in his usual manner, bounds down the ties, only to be blocked by Miss Casey with the killer stare, bare fangs and pointed paw, this really knocked old Taff for a loop, nobody ever told him there were walking rules? Taff promptly sits down but that was not enough for Miss C, she obviously expected some REAL respect here. He is just sitting, burping, and slobbering, while looking at her and then starts yipping. That was when she batted him on the nose, and he laid down, (through all this with head, ears and tail up). She turns around and starts traveling in her beeline ahead mode. At this point "dumb and dumber" Taff then once again tries to get side by side with her, and that is when she blocked him, batted him in the eye and nipped his nose besides. This time he dodged behind me and cowered, but continued to lip her, he does have an annoying habit of lipping off. She steps around me and goes for his upright ear, he throws himself on the ground flat as a pancake, but STILL is whimpering under his breath, sort of a "whisper whine", for this he gets a real growl WITH FANGS from her. She then put her paw on his head and gave him the killer stare again and he FINALLY shut up, he can be willful at times trust me. WILLFUL!

Once again we start out, we have come all of 25 feet from Miss Casey's house, and this time the Taff is trotting head down, behind me, crowding my legs, glancing up to get quick peaks at the back of Miss Casey who is on a serious trail here, he is also whisper whining but obviously she either does not hear or is ignoring him....! He just has to have the last word.

Finally he has decided she is in charge, however another trait of old Taff is he is a big drinker, so he is also a big pee-er, along about the train shed he has to go like a race horse but is afraid to stop, so he tries to trot and squat at the same time. When I realized he was at the end of his leash in the opposite direction, I look back and saw he was trying to relieve himself, so I told Miss Casey to stop, she promptly did a reverse by me and went for the laager, but I grabbed her collar and she gave me this, "ok just this once we will stop" look, meanwhile old Taff is pouring it on the ties and looking every which way he can except at her. I knew she had him cowed as this was no tinkling mark a spot, but cow over a rock passing water!

Off we go again, but "big blunder boy" only goes about another 50 feet and then once again obviously comes down with a case of TOTAL amnesia, as he starts around me and edging forward, I am thinking this walk could end up costing me in vet bills but I probably won't have to pay to get him fixed, she is perfectly capable of doing that for him. She sees him coming and ignores him till he gets just about level with her collar, then she turned and nipped at him like a rattlesnake, but he is on to her now and leaped over the outside rail just in time to save his nose. Once again he gets in behind me and we travel on, with her drop dead serious on the trail nose to the ground. You will remember at this point that the AKC school asked Taff and I to leave as he was un-trainable with their methods and a disruption to the class besides. Well I am thinking that in 75 feet this Collie has taught him more about how to PROPERLY walk, than all 4 instructors at that school did in 6 weeks. Maybe he can learn after all?

Once again he proves me wrong.!!! Buy the time we get to the switch at Aladdin she is acting very uncertain as to where she is, I believe she was just to far from her fenced in yard to feel comfortable. Some dogs only stray so far, Taff is of the breed that 10 miles is just your back yard. Not to mention Taff walks this every day, and we ain't even up to where the deer lay or the coons hide under the old ties, his favorite places to roll and poke his nose. Miss Casey stops, looking around in an uncertain manner and "old redneck" sees his chance to bound on by unnoticed, he leaps around me, jerking his leash and my arm, and proceeds to run flat out toward the deer laying spot, he went by her like Amtrak on the Northeast Corridor!!!

Wellllll I got no choice but to try to catch up to my arm socket and that involved me jerking her North about 10 feet before she knew what hit her. HOWEVER once on her feet she bolted straight for the rear end of that big white furry butt, who was in the wind and yipping his head off with glee. WHOOO HOOO now we're walking!!!

Never under estimate the speed of a Border Collie who is mad. I am tellin you my right arm shot almost out of it's socket at the shoulder before I knew what hit me, now I got a run away team and "little red" is closing fast on "no brains". He must have heard her coming as he looked back and froze in fear, but he was traveling to fast to stop, the only thing that saved his life was the fact that she was on a straight 6 foot leash, but he had the extra length of the halter and that big spring, did I mention the big spring?

Mr. "smarty pants" hit the end of that spring, went up in the air, flipped over backwards, and landed right in the deer laying spot of soft grass with Miss C on top of him like a hydrophobic wolf. I thought there goes his vocal cords at least, as he has 10 inches of thick fur to protect his jugular. He is now SCREAMING IN TOTAL FEAR. I am sure his whole short life was passing before his eyes, and there was nothing I could do as both leashes were tangled like a dreadknot lock of hair.

Fortunately she responded to my hysterical yells to sit, while he thrashed around in the grass totally berserk, which only succeeded in tangling them worse. After about 5 minutes of practicing Girl Scout knot untying, I finally was able to get them straightened out, and decided I had had enough for one day. He escaped with only a small spot of hair, somewhat thinned on his throat, she was spitting the whole way back, probably has a 5 lb fur ball in her stomach.

When we got up even with her house ,he came up beside me and started silently bumping my legs toward her yard, she was content to just travel on towards the bridge, so I gave him my "mary look" and he dropped back. We traveled out to the new pile of ties and I looked up and realized the other neighbor was walking his big dog, no leash on, visions of the run away team flashed before my eyes again, so I promptly did a u-turn and distracted them until he was clear up his driveway.

This morning when I took him out for a walk he promptly made a right hand turn, AWAY from Miss Casey's house and he also never once yanked on his leash, it was also the quietest walk we ever been on, so maybe he needs a few more days at the "Miss Casey School for Proper Pups"!

I am thinking of sending her a dozen big dog biscuits and forging his name to the card. That will be after my trip to the plastic surgeon to have my arms shortened back to normal length. However it is kind of nice to be able to stand and pull my boots on without bending over hahahaha. By the way Charlie is going to fix the spring with the track tamper as it is now 3 feet long.

As you all know Taff was a foundling and after it was determined we were going to keep him, I decided to take him to a groomer. I called a couple but they informed me he could not come to the groomers till he had proof of his shots, makes sense. I then asked around for the name of any local good vets. One who is relatively close to me. I got three names and called the first one, I made an appointment and on the assigned day took the Taff over. Now first off I was embarrassed by his filthy coat but it was beyond my repair I needed professional help. The next thing I noticed when I walked in the door was that Taff instantly set up a Hound of the Baskervilles howling that was ripping my ear drums off.

Now I did not know this dog from Adam, having only had him a couple weeks, had no idea what was wrong with him, however I told the receptionist I would just wait outside and please come to the door and call me when it was his time as 5 thousand fleas were leaving his hide. One hour later she came to get me (she forgot about me), luckily I had packed for a road trip, water food and toys and we were in fact playing in the parking lot as we watched what appeared to be 20 people come and go with dogs.

Finally it is my turn to go in, the nurses (or assistants or whatever they were) were very kind, I told them his story and apologized for his looks and they were very understanding. They took a blood sample and his stool sample and left us to wait for the vet.

Now the first annoying thing was that there was rock music playing in the back ground so loud I could hardly hear the nurses and this is after they forgot me so right off the bat they have gone from a 10 to a 7, waiting for the vet for another half an hour put them down to a 5,why call us in here? Meanwhile Taff is whimpering and crying and I am beginning to think he may have to use the bathroom and I am all alone in the room.

Finally the vet arrives The vet gives the dog a quick once over and asks me what I want him to do, at this point I am almost speechless, (maybe he thought I found the dog in the road or something) I said (maybe a tad too forcefully) WHAT I WANT you to do is check the dog over and tell me what he needs in the way of shots or health care!!!! I found him this way and can't take him to a groomer till he has had shots. I would also like the name of a groomer if you could recommend one, he then tells me that he does not recommend groomers because of the extensive injuries that groomers have done to dogs like one being blinded!!!!! What the heck kind of talk is that to reassure a person who has just trying to save a foundlings life? Then he adds this is not a show dog, LIKE I CARE the dog's coat is matted beyond belief and they don't do grooming either so what are my options-SEND HIM TO MARINE BOOT CAMP???? He is now down to a 2 and loosing ground fast. I then asked about food and he told me to ditch the puppy food as this dog was over 2, (amazing how a dog over two has grown 2 inches in height and in length since our visit with him) but he would not recommend a special food either, then I asked about flea medicine and he informed me it would be a waste of my money and his time to de flea the dog.....NOW WAIT A MINUTE -HOW IS IT A WASTE OF YOUR TIME FOR ME TO DE FLEA MY DOG AND WHO CARES ABOUT MY MONEY.....we are now at a 10 below. (It now dawned on me that most of his patients were show dogs, in fact it was a show dog friend of a friend who gave us his name) well obviously me and the little red neck foundling are beneath his standards of care. I took the medicines he gave me for the dogs worms, paid the large bill, took the dog and hit the road.

Taff literally bowled over a Boxer on the way out the door. I guarantee I will not be back. I am planning to actually visit in person a couple other vet offices before I take him anywhere else, I do have the name of another vet who specifically works with the animal shelter and I am told he is very good with rescue dogs and support of their owners. Next stop is the groomers who proceeds to tell me stories of how this same vet has convinced himself he is now a legend in his own mind. Well that was no surprise. When I told her the flea story she hit the roof, it is never a waste of money to kill fleas even if you wash off the flea stuff the next day cause fleas can make a dog sick, well that was exactly my thought and it was not about the money anyway. The groomer shoots to an 11, after I go back 4 hours later and get the dog she goes to a 25, she spent more time with me, advised me about food and grooming and things to watch with double coated dogs than the vet did. I gave her a generous tip and told her I would be back (which we have been every three months). She knows I am totally under qualified to handle his coat. I could not believe the difference just one trip made in him, the hair under his legs was so matted it restrained his walking stride, he had hot spots and even though it was November he was naked as a jay bird and frisky as a pup when I picked him up, hahaha. She told me his coat was so bad she had to keep shutting off the clippers cause they overheated and every time she did he would lick her hand, he won over her heart too. She gave him a gold star on his behavior report, we of course sent her a nice thank you. Next trip she complimented me on his good care and there is not a flea anywhere on him. She also suggested some good food and it also helped to perk him up. Thank goodness for considerate pet service people as I was just about at my wits end till I got to her. Nicki we love ya. You restored our faith in pet services. Very soon I am going to "interview" a new vet, and if I don't like them I don't take my dog there. YOU work for us Bubba, I can drive 400 miles on a single tank of gas, so there is plenty to choose from, your name might end in alphabet soup but mine ends in MOM and I take my job serious! hahahaha stay tuned lol mary.

Well I have signed up as a member of a website email list for Samoyed owners and what a comfort and eye opener it is. On page one, message 24 is a message about pulling, 36,153 messages later the dogs are still pulling hahaha.!!! See told ya it was an eye opener. I first thought this site was only for people with pure bread dogs, breeders or show dog people, but have since found out that blood purity don't count, just breed or love of the breed and some even have cross breeds. As our Taff is an orphan and I am an orphan owner in our local dog world,( no Samoyeds here), this is the first time I have been able to talk to people who have this kind of dog. I have now decided I am going to go looking for Samoyed owners next time I go to the mall or on a long road trip. I have also decided I can spot them by the "secret signs"!

First off they have one arm considerably longer than the other maybe by a foot and a half. Second off they have shoes on that do not match or sandals with no straps, this would go either with the belt with the 17 holes in, if a man or the purse with a clothesline strap if a woman, you do not own any intact leather item if you are a "Fluffer" owner. These people are also covered head to toe in a fine white, what appears to the untrained eye to be, lint.

Next up is a close look at the partner/children with these people you spot at the mall, their ears will all stick out considerably from their heads, why you ask, from years of being grabbed by them and told LOOK AT ME, when ever the kids/partner pick up something of interest they shout LEAVE IT, but the real give away is when they call them with come come come come, it is a carry over from talking to the dog. Another key element to look for is when they whip out ID at the check out line, it will be mangled (they will always try to slyly cover it from sight and they are pretty good with that one longer arm).

While in the mall look for people who offer pig ears to cute misbehaving children, dead give away there. Big shedder owners will also repeat themselves for no reason, as they are not used to having requests responded to on the first shot thankyouthankyouthankyou. Samoyed owner speak for sure.

Now other than the secret dress code, you can also spot them by the cars/trucks they drive, most will have more of the fine white lint all over the interior, chewed off door locks or in my case gear shift handle knob....oooopps did not mean to leak that info. The back seat may very well contain chunks of what could have been at one time restraints of some kind, definitely treat remnants, and shredded paper, careful this could also be an FBI car.

Houses of owners are easier to spot even though they go out of their way to conceal them, ignore the sign that says US ARMY Demolition Training Area, those are DOG dug holes, note huge balls of dandelion fluff in the yard, look closer, take some for a DNA test..... it is WHITE FUR....AH HA! Of course you need a ladder to see over the 17 foot high fences or you can just peek through the chewed holes all around the bottom or better yet crawl through the big tunnels that lead out of the fenced yard. Sammy owners will also have neighbors who all wear ear protection but have baskets of treats on their porch. Speaking of treats you can tell if you are in a "known breed" area because everyone you meet will carry treats and probably offer you one, right here in downtown Schenley is 6 freezers with marshmallows in them for 24 hour a day emergencies.

What you want to do to really confirm your suspicions is park on the side of the road, roll down the window and howl at the moon, if you are answered by a series of yip yip yip AAAAAAARRRRRRRooooooooooo's bingo you found one. HA! You can run you can't hide, if you keep this up for about 15 minutes and a big fuzzy guy with one longer arm, wearing shoes that don't match, runs out to your car with a bag of treats -take off FAST, he probably will be followed by a big ball of white fur and once you see one and heaven forbid pet them, you too could end up looking just like this guy. Now you know the secret ID you better keep it to yourself or I'll have to kill ya or worse, drop off a pup. There is no known cure for Samoyed ownership! Be careful, be very careful. One last thing, it cost ten grand to have one arm shortened and it is not covered on insurance cause it is considered cosmetic. Consider your self warned. lol mfb.