Well you can file this under stupid pet "owner" tricks. I was sent an x-back harness for Taff as I was thinking he needs more exercise than walking and we might try pullin stuff.

Well it was a challenge to get it on him and wanting to know if it would bother him I told him we're going for a walk, he bounded to my side and stood wiggling while I struggled him into it.

Out the door and down the steps we went as usual, oh did I mention, I also received my beautiful new white tall boots with a 2 inch wedge heel, soft as a glove, I decided how would it hurt to try them out on a little jaunt with Taff.

So here we are down on the road and Taff does his usual rocket launch, I simply played out his long lead and was prepared to let him hit the end like I always do with my feet braced, he knows exactly where to stop, and then we jog......wellll...except.. you see.. I normally wear flat big grippin sole boots.

I rocked back on my heels and realize I can't do this in high heels, even rubber wedge ones ,so I take off BEFORE Taff hits the end of his lead.

There is a reason running backs on football teams do not wear heels!

I am leaning into the wind, taking big goose steps like a band majorette with appendicitis and I know I am in trouble so I am reeling in Taff's lead.

Now at this point Charlie goes by in his truck and stops, so of course Taff doubles back because nothing is more fun than riding, even running.

Charlie points out to me the harness looks wrong and probably the end loop goes over Taff's tail, well sure Charlie who grew up in town is just a world expert on sled dogs, but hey it sounded logical.

Charlie zooms on down the road and I call Taff back to me, I fiddle with the harness and start to suspect the extra loop just maybe does NOT fit over Taff's tail as I try to pull Taff's tail through it and it don't seem to fit good.

Taff is trying to pull my hand off his tail so I give up.

Now my big concern was that Taff would think this pulling harness was alien feeling on him and may not decide to run in it.

How stupid is that, Taff would run through open flames and over broken glass, even if it was spread with dog shampoo, which gives him the heebie jeebies!

Also keep in mind I taught Taff to respect his walking harness length buy whipping his lead around telephone poles, he knows exactly how long his lead is and will not pull too hard once he feels the tension pull up snug.

Did I mention my beautiful new boots have these real cute little pom-pom's on the side that tie?

Ok, so I finally got Taff's harness settled on his body and in my mind, I had clipped and unclipped the lead  to it three or four times.

 I let Taff's cable play out, I then notice one of my pom-poms had come untied, not wishing to be a fashion fau paux,here in nowhere redneck land, I stoop down to retie my pom-pom, meanwhile Taff is getting disgusted with all the delays, he races back just as I lift my foot.

I stand up and Taff goes airborne, I mean straight up in the air like a jumping bean, as I puzzle this I notice the leash is going out at an odd angle,I look  down in horror to see his lead looped around  my brand new white boot! OH..... NO!

Now what do you suppose is the first thought in my mind, that I am going to DIE.. nonono, I bend down in a panic because I was afraid the dirty lead would SCUFF my brand, spanking, new, white, sparkling, suede boot, not paying a bit of attention to Taff who has hit the ground with that thick glove soft padded,loose harness on, that is when it dawned on me... he must have thought I unclipped his lead.........!!!

 I am telling you it was like a slow motion horror movie, I bend over on crouched knees and grab that lead around my boot with both hands in a death grip, just as Taff hits the other end in his padded soft harness without a clue,I went straight up in the air curled up like a dead possum and landed flat on the road  on my back like a cold curly fry at a cheap carnival.

It just about knocked the wind out of me.

I am laying there like a road kill with rigamortis, half afraid to uncurl, wonder of wonders my boy Taff races to my side, only to grab his  lead in his mouth and try to jerk it off my boot,like I am some kind of sea anchor!

NOW I  start swearing!

Taff is racing around in a circle and I am spinning like a top on my back in the very center of the road still desperate to protect those new boots and wishing I had brought my buck knife, never again will I leave home without it! Never!

I finally rock myself up to a sitting position and grab the lead, I ORDER Taff to get his butt back, yes sad to say Taff does understand words generally only used by drunken sailors,from the many times he has committed dog felonies!

He trots over like nothing in the world could possibly be wrong.What is the hold up?

At this point I am wondering HOW I am going to get up, if I CAN get up,SHOULD I get up or just let the township pave over me and be done with dog ownership forever, and I BETTER not scuff my boots trying it, not a soul was in site for miles around!

Well I roll over and push myself up, I put the lead on Taff's collar, I drag him over to my knee in my collar version of the "suitcase walk", Taff whines but walks beside me in mincing steps like the pavement is on fire under his feet, he hates the suitcase walk. I am bent over like a cave woman, but a stylish one in those immaculate boots baby! Oh yea!

Well it was a long half a mile walk back home and I was amazed I could do the steps as for once in his entire life Taff decided to let me go first, I was ordering him ahead and he declined, oh thanks Mr. Gentleman the one time I need you to pull me! hahaha.

Well I decided to take some aspirin and use some muscle rub and spent half an hour walking through the house to unlimber my bones and calm down, of course this was after I placed my beautiful boots back in the box , with by the way not a single mark on them, so there!

Well I learned this: Taff has a wee-wee bit of a problem believing he is secured in a loose thick padded harness instead of his heavy, stiff, tight, nylon web one,Taff will run in an x-back harness like his tail is on fire, and Taff will never EVER make a rescue dog.

PS: Oh yea, not all boots are made for walkin, don't believe everything you hear on a country radio station! hahahaha mfb.

 

57. Taff the Shusher.

OK, I am reading this dog training book that uses unusual methods to get the attention of dogs with high prey drive when you are out walking with them, specifically for a recall.

Basically they tell you to yell in a high pitched voice, lean backwards and wave your arms frantically while calling the dog, this goes right to a prey dogs heart as a distraction, they claim.

First off I ripped an old squeaky  out of one of Taff's old chewed up toys, this one has a deeper tone than the mouse  "eee" "eey" sound, this one has a small wounded baby ducky sound, sort of a  "waaaaaakie-waaaaakie-waaaaakie" and it is loud.

So down the road I go with Taff on his long lead. He is hunting up and down in the tall grass beside the pavement, a couple times he freezes and pounces but nothing was there, I am just awaiting an opportunity to try this new trick on him.

Finally he leaps like a deer about five feet  in the air and pounces like a cat on a clump of grass, he goes chest down and spreads his paws wide like he has them wrapped around a vermin hole or something, he sticks his head in the grass clump, he is frozen like a statue and his tail is twitching, he is not breathing! OK...DOKIE... he is REALLY on to something now!

I whip out the wounded ducky squeaky and call his name, he does not bat an eye, frantic I raise both arms over my head and in a cross between a cheerleaders jumping jack and a railroad hand signal that a rail is broken-OMG- stop the train, I start leaping up and down in the road yelling "COME-COME" " Taffy come" WAAAAAaaaaaaaAKIE- waaaaaaaakie- WAAAAAAAkie, I am blasting the squeaker and screaming while wind milling my arms like I am falling over backwards.

Now this was a sight to see, guaranteed to get the attention of the dog, in fact any passing motorist would have called 911 and  any railroader would have had heart arrest right on the spot, I was that good!

Well low and behold, Taff breaks out of kill mode, races to me,leaps up onto my chest  and blasts my face with a "big boy WOLF" right in my eyeballs!

Now don't get the idea this was a "Oh mom I am coming cause I love ya" recall, not in your wildest dreams!

This was CLEARLY a disgusted dog saying "SHUT THE HECK  UP are you out of your sick mind, we're HUNTIN FOR FOOD here"?

Well excuuuuuuse me!!!!!

As I am weaving back and forth from the body slam impact and trying to wipe dog slobber off my face, Taff races back to the grass clump and sniffs all around, he then gives up and pours about 5 gallons of marking pee on it from his lifted leg! I could actually see the grass dying under the chemical onslaught hahaha.

Then just to MORE clearly show his opinion of my stupid stunt, he runs out to the middle of the road turns and faces me, plants his big paws flat on the pavement spread wide, looks me dead in the eye with a lowered head and SNORTS at me, can you imagine the impertinence!

 He snorted at me, snot flew out of his nostrils!

Obviously I have committed some  dog-hunting-rule  unforgivable FELONY hahaha!

Well I come a bit unglued, I yell at Taff while spitting dog slobber off my face, "you just listen to me you little ingrate, I can take my plastic card into the big big meat sale and walk out with 100lbs of grain fed prime Black Angus, we don't even eat VERMIN in case you haven't noticed! Cry me a river-SPIT SPIT!

Taff  spins around and returns to hunt mode, every once in a while he would whip his head back to me and give me a "squinty evil eyed" look, like he did not trust I would pull that stupid stunt again, I just pretended like I was invisible, just like he does to me!!! hahaha.

Besides now I know it works, it is my little secret!!! hahaha.

Hey the idea is a high prey driven dog will break off the hunt and come, nobody said he had to be happy about it, in fact a dog that is ticked off will come straight to you in the blink of an eye without even thinking, ask anybody who owns an attack dog! hahaha.

I like this book and I am on to some stuff now, shush, don't tell  Taffy:) mfb

58. Taff the Boy Guide.

Well we recently found out that Taff has cataracts in both eyes, one is more advanced than the other, we are putting drops in and waiting for the specialist to tell us when she can operate and restore his vision.

This has been hard on us as it came on so fast, maybe in less than 18 days.

As the one eye has rapidly lost vision and the other dims, Taff has shown subtle behavior changes that concerned me. Not to mention I am sure he has picked up on our alarm and concern. He has been off his food, napping, suddenly becoming very cautious and not very enthused about anything.

I decided today to take him for a walk in a  snow storm and to take a route he is not used to so he does not realize his world is changing. He has been very quiet and starting to show signs of his visual impairment, we can't fix his eyes yet, but I can maybe fix his attitude.

I took him down the fence line along our railroad siding, oh boy this is a challenging place to walk, you got fresh white snow a few inches deep that looks like white velvet, no contrast to give you a clue that underneath is uneven ground and frozen between the two is all kinds of  hidden little surprises, little piles of scrap metal, chunks of ties, branches, small washed out holes, piles of ballast, you name it.

So off we go and Taff is cautiously walking, I am trudging behind. I accidentally whipped his long lead, Taff looks back and realizes I am stumbling along and he stops, it hit me like a bolt of lightening, I need to stumble more, that is the answer, give Taff the lead with his impaired vision and see how he does.

Well it was not hard to fake almost falling down and I threw in a bent forward position and exaggerated shuffle, then topped that off with stopping every once in a while and rapidly panting like he does to me when he really wants me to come to him- kind of a huh-huh-huh.

Well you would not believe the difference in that dogs attitude, instead of cautiously going along while swiveling his head to see out his one failing good eye, his ears went up and his nose went down, he would go along for a while without pulling too hard on the lead then stop, look back at me and wait for me to catch up, he started picking even ground, I toddled on behind, when I would catch up he would go off exploring to the end of his lead but not pull, then he would double back look at me and move on, when we got to the end of the siding I turned around and we started back, it was snowing even harder.

Taff walked exactly in my  foot prints and picked up the pace, he would toss me a grin over his shoulder and just speed up enough that I would not whip the lead, he tried twice to get me to cross the tracks in the flat spot to get out to the road but I refused. On we trudged and the farther we went the faster he traveled with his nose now 6 inches in the air over my boot tracks, when we got back up near the locomotive shed I crossed over the tracks as between the road and the tracks is a big ditch full of thin ice and you guessed it muddy water hahaha.

Taff leaped out on the ice and ran along crashing through with his weight, bounding along in the muddy water, completely oblivious to the fact I was suddenly running along beside him not stumbling at all, this ditch runs along for a couple hundred feet, by the time I pulled Taff up out of there he was solid ice from his belly down, we raced back up to the house on the road and he took the steps up the side of the house at full speed.

Taffy was happy!!!!

 I now realized what I have been doing wrong, I have been walking him down his known route as it fades from his vision, I need to take him places where walking is a challenge, I need to make him think I can barely keep up, I need to make him think he needs to blaze a trail over unknown turf.

I need to offer him an exercise for his mind not just his body.

I think we're on the right track now cause he spent half an hour racing around his pen and flinging his toys in the air and then came in to wolf down some food:) whooo hooo.mfb

Click Here for pictures of his eyes.