Taffy the Laffy Samoyed Stories
page 16
54. Taff in the Windy City
Last Friday Mom packed half of everything we own in the car and Dad said we are going for a long ride. whooo hooo We went to the Northern Illinois Samoyed Assistance (NISA), Sam-O-Rama in Arlington Heights, north of Chicago.
We rode for 10 dog years to a big city racetrack with lots of vehicles, it was fun to watch the cars and trucks hoping in and out in front of each other like foxes fleeing from a pack of hounds, mom kept saying "we're all gonna die", heck they were all out runnin us so I don't know what her problem was, we couldn't even catch the guy on the little motorcycle!
We got to a big red roof building with a cement yard and went upstairs, mom made 5 trips to move all our stuff in. The room was bigger than our whole caboose and it had a refrigerator and a TV!
Some guy called on the phone and mom said ok we are going to visit Bill and his girls, so off we went around the cement yard to the back. We met a really nice guy and he brought out his Sammie girl, her name was Megan Rose, she was real pretty, did tricks and walked off leash, then he took her inside and brought out another Sammie girl her name was K.K. and she was pretty too, but shorter and also walked off leash, then he said come on in and when we got inside he had another Sammie girl, her name was Snowflake, another pretty girl but more talkative, well I never seen three Sammie girls up close and I didn't want to shed all over them so I stood behind mom, for some reason everyone was laughing at me.
The next morning at sunrise we went to the biggest river I ever saw, there wasn't but a handful of trees in sight, but there was 7 Sammies there and everybody in town came out to see us. Chicago has more people than Schenley and it was nice of them to all come out that early, some even brought their dogs to meet us. Some of them just kept running around in a circle so they could get a good look at us all and a lot of people came over to ask if we were a sled dog team. Mom said no but I can make it snow and flung some my hair in the air. One guy asked if we shed a lot, mom laughed till her lips turned blue.
There was one guy who was waiting to jump on a rail car cause he had one hand and one foot up in the air like mom does before she leaps on a gondola car but there was no trains there, several times K.K. and Stetson went over to tell him there was no trains there but they got yelled at, obviously the guy was lost. Somebody called him a tychee, he was probably from out of town too.
Snowflake went WAY out in the water and barked but nobody wanted to swim to Michigan with her and Muddy chased a rubber ball that Julia kept trying to throw away, I guess Muddy didn't want her to litter. Otto did not like the water but Megan Rose raced in and out.
All the dogs were off leash but me but mom put my long cable on so I could explore, the water was very wavy but I did not see any jet skis, it never did go flat like our river here?
We all went for a long walk around the edge of the water, a lot of dogs came up to say hi, one puppy border collie came up with a Frisbee and everybody threw it to her, she jumped straight up in the air like Sammi Sue and caught it every time, what a show off.
Way over on the far side of the beach I found three itty bitty trees but there was no rabbits there, first they got no grass and then no trees what an odd town, mom needs to go plant some stuff there. Dad took a lot of pictures of a town far away, everybody called it skyline.
Everybody had a good time but we had to go cause dogs are not allowed on the beach after 8am, maybe that is when the cats get to go there?
We went and got a big box of real donuts then went back to the big room, mom made me get brushed and washed up so we could go to Julia's for supper. I let her brush me for two whole donuts.
We went back down the racetrack again, they make you pay to race there but it was only 80 cents, most of the racers were gone, maybe they got off to go get gas.
Muddy has a beautiful big house with a tall white metal fence around a real nice yard. I raced into the house and up the stairs to find the kitchen but they did not have one. I thought everybody had a kitchen upstairs like we do, mom was yelling at me and made me come back down. We all went outside and played in the yard but mom watched me like a hawk because she was afraid we would get over the plastic snow fence, I don't know why they had snow fence up in September but they are pretty far north, K.K. put her paw on it and pulled it down mom said "OH Stetson don't do that" and put it back up, nobody knew Stetson from K.K. haha.
I got to run off leash but I decided to guard the B.B.Q cause there was a lot of meat on there, all the other Sammies decided that was a good idea too, it was pretty crowded on that side porch. I could see the table through the big glass doors, they had a lot of food, I think Emeril was there, I looked all over for him. Everybody sat down to eat and mom tied me to the corner fence post outside so I howled my head off. All them other Sammies were inside, mom finally brought me in too but held on to me. Muddy's dad Mark was playing the "growlie game" with Muddy, it was too funny, Muddy is a good growler and Megan Rose and Stetson kept flirting with him, I was still being real careful not to shed on all the girls and everybody was still laughing at me.
Before supper we went for a walk to a little park around the corner but there was a whole lot of little people there, I was real careful not to shed on them too. They were real excited to see so many Muddies, one little girl asked mom why I had 14 tags and 5 leashes on, mom told her cause I run away, the little girl told mom if you feed dogs they don't run away, mom said she would try that.
We all had a good time at Muddies house and there was lots and lots of good food and two cakes too, one was from a dog bakery, but dad said we had to go cause it was getting late, so we got back on the raceway and came back to the big cement yard house. I decided at 4am I needed to go use the bathroom, mom took me outside across the cement yard to a few small bushes, it was hard to pick which one to mark, while I was checking them out two young guys came through the cement yard, I thought maybe they might have treats, they had choker collars on, lots of tie out rings all over their faces, lots of tattoos and walked kind of limpy, mom kept telling me to behave but I jumped up on my back legs to say hi and they ran, I think they were runaways cause of all the broken chains all over them.
The next day we went to a big picnic in a big park, there was about 90,000 Sammies there, and most of them were girls, so I was real careful not to shed on them too and people were STILL laughing at me! Mom tied me to a big tree but was afraid I would dig it out so she never left my side unless Dad was watching me.
Chicago must be a dangerous place cause big boo boo planes flew over all the time, we only have planes here when somebody gets hurt and they are a lot smaller than Chicago boo boo planes, all the Sammies were barking at the planes. Mom was counting the rivets on the underside.
They had a lot of food there too, they must have had a really really big meat sale nearby. Everybody came over with their Sammies to meet us. I never saw so many different sizes and colors of Sammies and they all decided to bark hello to everybody, they were real friendly. Mom was watching how they all pulled everybody around on their leashes and was laughing. We were right by a grooming table and mom was watching the lady like a hawk, I went on the other side of the tree so I would not shed on her either.
We met a lot of Samsmilers including the famous Gizmo the run away girl, I wanted to ask her how to get out of town but she just kept showing me her beautiful teeth, maybe she lives with a dentist or something. After that I was real careful not to shed on her too. Mom finally took me for a long walk all around the edge of the big yard, I scared up a couple squirrels but mom would not let me chase them into the brush.
Dad and Bill went to get food and boy was I excited but I had to wait till mom got a plate to get any chicken, Snowflake suddenly became dad's best friend so I was careful not to shed on her either, more laughing.
Mom went shopping at the big tables and brought back a whole bunch of cookies, then she tried to make me beg for them but I refused, hey it was a Sammie picnic you're supposed to feed the Sammies, just like that little girl in the park told mom hahah.
They had a lot of activities like a Sammie parade and a blessing and a raffle and lots of other stuff and people were very busy walking around with their Sammies but mom said I had to stay put, she was waiting for the activities to be over so we could walk around and meet everybody.
All of a sudden the biggest Sammie girl I ever saw came out of the tent, she was like nine feet tall, everybody rushed over to Sammie Paws to get pictures with her, I was clear at the other end of my leashes so I would not shed on her, then mom drags me over to say hi, holy cow there is no way I was getting near that big a Sammie girl, I dug in my big paws and almost backed out of my harness, me and mom got in a tug of war, I was winning but then mom picked me up and drug me closer, I was REALLY REALLY not trying to shed on her but mom kept draggin me closer, finally the big Sammie squatted down and called my name real soft, I could not believe my ears, a talking Sammie, I got a little closer to sniff her, then she stood back up and I took off.
Later a real nice lady named Leslie came over to say hi with her two dogs and she smelled just like Sammie Paws but she was real real nice, maybe Sammie paws rubbed on her.
Just when everybody was getting relaxed a big roll of thunder sounded and dad yelled we have to get to the car, it started pouring down rain, dad was afraid a tree limb would fall on the car, when it rains here tree limbs fall all over the railroad tracks, so we dashed to the car and took off, we went back to the cement yard house and mom rushed everything inside.
I was sad to leave all my new human and Sammie friends, there was one little Sammie girl I really liked but she was just a pup.
Jene came to visit us and then Bill and Mike, back at the cement yard house. Mike is very funny I hope he gets another Sammie some day he is a special guy, Bill and him wrestled with me, I like Bill too even if he does have FOUR girls. Jene told us how glad she was we came so far and told mom and dad what a good sound looking boy I was, mom was real happy, Dad showed Jean pictures of me when I first showed up and she could not believe how bad I looked. Julia and Bev called to say goodbye. Dad has lots and lots of pictures.
After everybody left dad said he never met such nice people in his whole life and was real glad we came. We went to bed real early and got up at 3am to ride home.
Boy what a ride we had, it poured down rain and we drove the pay raceway all the way through Illinois, Indiana, and part of Ohio before it stopped raining. Mom kept telling Dad to pass the big trucks because we could not see for all the water they threw up, Dad could not catch them, maybe he should have given the tool booth guy more money to buy a faster lane? We passed trucks that looked like trains, they were very long. Bill called Mom on the phone and told us he was on the other road and the trucks were driving very fast in the pouring rain there too, we were laughing cause Bill drives a big truck and I'll bet he was sorry he left his big truck at work. Dad says if we ever go back to Chicago he is renting an 18 wheeler with a turbo charged engine and two sets of triples marked danger radio-active so no one will mess with him. Like anyone would be afraid of a truck with a working radio? Sometimes Dad don't make no sense?
We finally arrived home about 10 hours later and it took mom another hour to unpack, then we got something to eat and mom went to bed early but dad wanted to unload his pictures, I went out to check out my splashie pond and found it half full of rain water whoo hoo.
Yesterday the guys all came and Dad and Mom worked all day, everybody was glad we were home and Dad showed everybody the pictures of me trying not to shed on all the girls, all the Bob's and Officer Donut thought that was a hoot, so I just shed all over them to teach them a lesson.
We all sure had a good time and we hope our new friends come here to visit some day even if they are girls. your friend Taff who's mojo don't work outa town hahaha
55. Taff on the Fib Foray
Well since the summer Campground Lab is gone, Taff has no one to walk off lead with early on Sunday mornings, he really enjoyed that and was making great progress, ok maybe not great but he ain't run off yet, ok he ain't run off far, the point is it was fun for him.
Sunday morning he was pathetically making his owowowgugug (which means out) sound, yipping like a pup and whining at the door. It tore at my heart, poor boy.
I decided it was time to bite the bullet and see if me and him could do it on our own, sooner or later you got to give your kids the keys to your car hahaha.
I put his long lead on and took him down the steps, I looked both ways down the road knowing full well the only two (of the only four who live there) residents who go out early on Sunday mornings were already gone, I unclipped his long lead and Taff took off like lightening! I gathered his long bright orange lead in my hand like a lasso and walked slowly behind him.
Now I can see pretty near a half a mile down that road and if anyone had come along I could stand in the middle and swing that lead around over my head and they would KNOW Taff was loose, that would stop anybody or slow them to a crawl, as I have no idea if Taff would yield to a car or not.
Taff went belly down about 500 feet, stopped to lift his leg, and it suddenly dawned on him mom was keeping up pretty good this morning hahaha. He turned and looked at me so I blew kisses (my quietest recall sound) then swung the leash over my head while I stood in the center of the road, Taff looked up the road to freedom and back at me, I swung the leash again, blew kisses and turned around and started walking back to the house. The moment of truth had arrived, my all of 15 seconds of recall training was now on the line! hahaha.
I peeked over my shoulder and low and behold Taff was running flat out back to me, I kept walking till I heard his paws pounding the pavement and then turned to face him, he stopped 50 feet away, out of reach but looking me dead in the eye and frozen like a statue, good enough, I said "good boy" and we started off again. What, you thought he was going to rush back and throw himself into a down stay at my feet, oh please what medication are you on, we're talkin Taff here! hahaha.
Taff took off running again and every time he got about 200 feet ahead of me I did the same recall, every time he raced back and stopped 50 feet away with the biggest twinkle in his eye you ever saw, this was a real fun game for Taff. All I said every time was "good boy" and on we walked, well I walked-he ran!
On we went and when we got to the bend in the road "the call of the wild" overtook Taff and he bolted into the woods up the hill, well I just kept walking-but not calling-oh boy lost dog!
I came upon him in the road up ahead around the bend, in a ditch about 3 foot deep, splashing himself all over with frigid, filthy, water, he looked like a kid with his hand caught in a cookie jar, I could just hear him thinking "oh hi mom, where ya been, I was just-uh-looking for that ring you lost 15 years ago, well I guess it is not here, time to move on", he jumped out of the ditch and trotted ahead without a single look back...okiedokie then... hahaha.
When we got to where I usually turn around where the road dead ends, Taff spotted one of our neighbor's vehicles ahead, she was inside and starting the engine, Taff took off like a rocket and I was hot on his heels as ahead of this house is miles and miles of wild woods! OH NO.
I dashed down her driveway as Taff circled her house and came back to her car, I swung his leash over my head and yelled at the top of my lungs, "come on, let's go for a ride" Taff was frantic, he looked at the car and then at me, he took two steps in either direction, he was fighting the urge to leap in her car but he KNOWS he can not go in a car without a leash on, I called again in my no nonsense voice " ARE YOU GOING FOR A RIDE OR NOT?" That was it, Taff raced back to my side, I clipped on his harness and the neighbor, shut the door to her car and drove by us real slow laughing her head off.
Taff was crestfallen, he gave me this pathetic whine and "you fibbed to me" look, tossed in a couple heart broken sighs, Oh.... PLEASE!
I knelt down on the pavement right in front of him, took both sides of his ruff in my hands and looked him dead in the eye, I said "Listen Bubba, number one- how is it you heard me blow kisses from 200 feet away but yesterday you did not hear me scream in your face from 3 feet away drop dad's brand new shoe"? Huh, huh, how is that??? A Bee flew in your ear maybe?
Number two, when I gave my kissie recall ,that you KNOW means come, you stopped 50 feet away and you KNOW I could not clip on your leash from there, "come" means come TO me not NEAR me! Huh, huh, how is that??? You suddenly developed an aversion to my deodorant maybe?
Number three, You were not even BORN when I lost that ring in ANOTHER STATE! What, all of a sudden you turned Bloodhound or something, or could it possiblly be the lure of the filthy water, that just happened to be out of my line of sight, full of Galloping Gazotties you are NOT allowed in? Huh, huh, How is that???
Am I the only one who sees a pattern here?? HUH!
So don't give ME no sob story about fibbing -WE'RE EVEN!
Taff looked up to the sky, down at his toenails, off into the woods, with his innocent angel face look plastered all over his face, blinked his eyes about 4000 times and tossed in a small cough, hack hack, hahaha.
All the way back home Taff bounded around out to the end of his long lead, bluff charging crickets in the tall grass full of burs, marking weeds and wading through mud puddles, happy as a lark!
So there is an eye witness report of breaking yet another cardinal rule of dog training, never fib, well let me tell you, no dog on the face of the earth is a better fibber than Taffy!
You just have to capitalize on it every chance you get! hahaha mfb
56. Taff and the Debutants
Recently we had a visit from 3 beautiful Samoyed Debutants, sadly it was all to short, just overnight . It was a big surprise for Taff. He heard a knock on the door and when I opened it a beautiful Megan Rose bounded through the door, followed by elegant K.K. and cute as a button Snowflake.
Now Taff is used to deliveries at the door but this was beyond all his expectations.
We took everybody for a caboose ride and all seemed to enjoy themselves although I am sure the girls were tired from their very long ride to get here.
The next day Taff had a chance to play with the girls, he was not real sure what to do except be his usual high energy self. Taff was in his prime showing Snowflake how to run up and down the steep steps to his play yard which convinced her he was demented, being a flat land girl who only goes down steps to get a bath. Taff took her refusal to dash up and down the 14 concrete steps at 90mph as a brush off and barked at her. Scratch Debutant number one!
Next he tried his magical charm on Megan Rose by grabbing her tail and ruff, which only got him a sharp reprimand and mouth full of fur. For a second try I took her for a walk with Taff, both on long leads, well Megan Rose walked at my side but stopped about 57 times in a couple hundred feet looking nervously back to our house where her dad was, while Taff lunged ahead at his usual 100mph belly down lope.
This turned into quite a problem as every time Megan Rose stopped Taff circled at the very end of his long lead like a circus horse on steroids, whipping it over her head every few seconds which annoyed her till she grabbed the flying lead in her mouth and gave it a mighty jerk, I took her back home with Taff walking behind whimpering the whole way, then I took him for a long walk all by himself to his glory. Scratch Debutant number two.
Finally K.K. who is a very proper lady walked across the room to Taff right up to his face. Taff's little heart went pitty-pitty-pat, he went into a play bow, he barked, he pretended to dig a hole in the floor, but all K.K. did was stand there with her head turned sideways and bat her beautiful big eyes at him and kept lifting her nose in the air, since she is considerably shorter than Taff he misinterpreted that look as pure unadulterated admiration, whoo hoo now we are getting somewhere. Alas in desperation she raised her nose again and barked repeatedly which made us all realize what she wanted was the bread on the counter behind Taff!! Poor poor Taff, he was devastated, tossed aside for a loaf of stale potato bread, can it get any worse? Scratch Debutant number three.
Well as the day wore on Taff tried to "talk" to the girls, who rebuffed him with many and assorted put downs of their own, it was quite a bark fest going on for a while. You know Taff, when all else fails bark your head off. He even tried his "big boy" bark and almost hurt himself, ending many times in a dry cough, it takes a lot to do that big boy voice, hahaha.
Then of course there was the issue that since K.K. is a diabetic, we issued a no-treat rule and took up Taff's food bowl, Taff free feeds and has never had his food bowl disappear, neither has he ever been refused treats, not that he is anywhere near starving, but that was a mini trauma, which he promptly reported to Officer Donut as soon as he stepped through the door, demanding someone here be arrested right now hahaha.
Now even Bill commented that Taff was such a mystery as he is so good at communicating with people but so poor at communicating with dogs. Taff's only idea of fun is run, dig and wrestle, he can't for the life of him understand what dog would not enjoy that? For down time he watches the food channel and eats, who could ask for more out of life? The problem is Taff seems to think other dogs don't understand his invitation, not that they would find his suggestions annoying. He just becomes more and more insistent the more they rebuff him, he is like stuck in puppy play mode. Neither could Taff understand the Debutants doting devotion to only their Dad, after all his world if full of benevolent Bob's everywhere you look.
I am now pondering if maybe the two dogs Taff was originally with were older females, and finally fed up with his annoying ways they ditched him. Which would mean since the approximate tender age of 7 months he has been entirely influenced by the Bob's here, now this is starting to make more sense as the Bob's idea of fun is run the train and motorcar up and down the tracks as fast as they can, dig holes all over the railroad ( they call it track work) and wrestle with Taff. For down time they watch the food cook on the stove and eat.
Your will note there is not a single Debutant at any of the Bob's houses neither!
Am I the only one who sees a scary pattern here? hahah. mfb