Taffy the Laffy Samoyed Stories
page 11
31. Taff & a Picnic with a Nitwit
Well we are fed up with winter here, and even though it was cold in the 30's the sun was shining and there was very little wind.
I decided to take Taff on a picnic, down the branchline, to the old shell of a farmhouse with a nice big yard.
I figured to take his new soccer ball and three 20 foot cables, a picnic basket with treats and coffee, and a blanket to sit on. Now this is a pretty good haul when you got to walk a half a mile carrying everything in one hand while holding on to Taff with the other.
But I figured it for a big adventure and a nice couple hours out in the fresh air someplace new and fun.
I am a complete... NIT-WIT!
I park the car and gather the bulky big square picnic basket, the bag with the soccer ball and the rolled up blanket in one hand, and Taff on the 20 foot cable on the other hand, and start walking down the side of the railroad tracks, I get ten feet and Taff swings wide at the end of his cable and jumps into the ditch full of water.
Well I manage to drag him out of there and point him down the tracks again, we go another 20 feet and out of the trees on the right bounds three big deer right across the tracks in front of us, Taff is off like the Lone Ranger's horse, HI HO SILVER....... AWAAAAAAAAAY......!
Well I managed to hold on to him but he thought that was a great game!
It was however the end of the chips and cookies in the picnic basket ,as I flung it down, braced one foot against the railroad rail, and reeled in Taff hand over hand yelling: GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE!
I aim him down the tracks again and we finally arrive at the former yard of the old farm house. I tie Taff to a big tree with all three cables.
I spread out the blanket, put down my picnic basket, take out the soccer ball and toss it to Taff.
"Come on Taff, let's play ball......!!!! whoooo...hooooo play time, just me and you buddy....get the ball" I yell....!!!
Taff looks at me like I have TOTALLY.... lost my mind...????
He instantly puts his nose to the ground and races around in circles following some secret trail, then he doubles back, he swings as wide as he can go on the prowl, he scans the hillsides with keen eyes, he doubles back again, he is a boy on a mission, crisscrossing the yard.....find game, find game, find game! He is snorting like a hog.
Ears are up, eyes are wide, tongue is lolling, nose is flaring, head is swiveling, tail is up, Taff is a coiled spring of prey drive with no prey in sight.....!
I kick the ball to him again, he whips his head around and gives me his "squint eye" look, he comes over and grabs the ball with his teeth, takes it away from me, drops it in the weeds, then he goes back to BIG GAME trackin...!
This is not going well.
I decide to have a picnic all by myself and break out the coffee and cookie crumbs.
Suddenly Taff hears some subterranean invader and throws himself into digging a hole to the center of the earth, tossing about 1/2 ton of dirt on me and the picnic basket! TAFFFFFFF what are you doingggggggg!
He gets down about 3 feet and decides if he rolls in the fresh dirt it will make him look less like a white dog and more like a big rock, probably so the non existent game won't spot him. Around and around he rolls in his dirt hole, while I sip coffee, lick dirt and crumbs off my fingers, and dream of a dog who would like to interact with me some day, if only cause all the animals on down the food chain have migrated somewhere else! hahaha.
At this point Taff decides it is time to move on after the "Caribou in his mind" that is always just ahead somewhere, so I gather up his soccer ball and all the picnic stuff, wrap his cable around me and start back for the car, with "White Fang" sniffing the ground, scanning the hillsides, whipping his head around, and every once in a while throwing me squinty eyed looks over his shoulder, as I walked behind and complained out loud that I don't understand what we are hunting for all the time, didn't anybody in your tribe ever SET UP CAMP and just kick back????
Taff shakes his head and moves out at a fast trot, he finds all kinds of interesting scents to check out, some more spots where game is trying to hide underground we had to dig up, a couple logs we had to dig under, some leaves that blew and we had to bolt after them, a suspicious looking rock we had to climb up and pee on, and finally the muddy bottom culvert we had to dash in and stick our head in the 2 foot waterfall just in case an elephant was back there or something. At last we get back to the car and he leaps in the back barking.
NOW he is ready to go for a ride....! It is now OK to do what I want to do, drive!
"Well thank you so much Gung-a-Din you have no idea how privileged I feel" I tell him, as he barks some more in his "let's go-what is the hold up" bark.
"OK ,I said ,I know where the game is".....he throws both paws over the front seat and pants rapidly in my ear.
I drive him back here, drag him in the house, fill the tub, toss him in and announce:
"OK, here is a game......GO FISH "!
I don't think we will be going on any more picnic/play days in the near future, this boy has a stronger prey drive than a Great White Shark! Obviously outside is not a place to lollygag around while the big herd of earth worms is moving north! Well excuse meeeeeee!!!!
The ONLY outside pick worth a nick with Taff is "Name that Poop" ! hahahha mfb.
32. Taff's flighty recall
I sent for some animal lure whistles, like hunters use. I figured this is the perfect way to recall Taff when he runs off on a scent trail or behind a fleet fleeing critter. The idea was to get him to break off the chase cause something better is behind him. I need something to penetrate his brain when he is in "prey chassin" mode.
Well first off, I got three calls, two sound sort of like a Kazoo, one higher and one lower, and the third bigger one sounds exactly like the guys after chasing Taff when he slips his leash, kind of a high ,squealing, death is near, lung wheezing- tea kettle sound hahaha.
All you have to do with these whistles is blow in or out, how hard is that, no musical talent required!
Off we go down the road and I am just itching to use these calls, once I stop Taff and let go on the "old fart lung" call, it was amazing how easy it was to blow, Taff whipped his head around at the first note...oh this is a good sign.
On down the road I stop Taff, let out a call with kazoo one, he looked, raised one eyebrow , farther down I stopped and let go with kazoo two, way lower in pitch, this time he came back over to me with a tilted head...OK now this is an even better sign....!!!
All I need now is some game for Taff to chase.....up and down the road not an animal in sight...stupid wildlife!
Back and forth we go and nothing, I am getting bored and take out the "old fart" whistle and start playing with it, much to Taff's annoyance hahaha. I start playing with softer and louder sounds and longer and shorter tones. I am just off in my own musical world as we walk along, Taff with his nose glued to the ground and me just woo wooing away and peering into the woods for a sign of game....not a thing.
I finally settled on a higher longer one note call that sounded like a loud whistle from a tea kettle. Taff kept giving me the evil eye? HEY I am playing OK, just like you do to annoy me, ain't no game anyhow!
On down the road we go, and I got this one note call down pat, I am having a good time, just seeing how long I can make the call last, it is pretty loud too! I am even thinking I could call the guys for supper with this as even they might be able to hear it!
I decide to see how loud I can make this one note call for distance! It sort of sounds like "weeeeeou"!
I stop and blast as hard as I can in the mouth piece....! WOW.... that is amazingly loud!
Taff races back....jumps up on me and barks in my face full volume...WOOF...he is apparently trying to knock me down backwards, well I was insulted.... I start shoving against him, he keeps pushing on my shoulders with his paws, I shove on his chest and do my growl ERRRR.... we are in a stand up shoving match .....looked like a kangaroo fight....this goes on for a minute or so, WOOF-shove-ERR -shove, WOOF-shove-ERR-shove, WOOF- shove-ERR shove....(me and Taff act stupid sometimes)....all of a sudden I hear this loud scream and look up....!
We are being circled by the biggest Red Tail hawk I have ever seen, about 30 feet over my head.....I can see the whites of his eyes and he don't have any...but he's got big talons down just ready to pluck our eyes out!!!!!
WHOA.......BABY!!!!!! either I had duplicated a GIANT dying rabbit or a hawk in heat mating call......!!!!
I SCREAM in Taff's face.....RUN......RUN...RUN TAFF.....now that is word Taff knows....we almost kill ourselves tripping over his cable so we could get the heck out of the middle of the road with "death from above" circling and screaming with them fish hook claws.
I have no idea what the reverse is of a dying prey sound but we are running like scared rabbits, and that is when it hit me that might not be the best signal to send to the hawk.!
I stop and shake my fist to the sky and yell...."Come on down here ,Taff will rip your head off and I got a grill just waiting for you bubba, come on"...well Taff joined in with his beat the front paws on the pavement big boy bark, I was so proud of him!.
The hawk took off, probably figured we were rabid and not fit to eat haha.mfb
33. Taff's Big Snip.
Yesterday morning at 7am we took Taff to the vets to get neutered. I was to call at 1:30pm to see what time to bring him home and how the operation went. I had not slept hardly at all the night before and was up at 4am.
Once I dropped off Taff, I came back home and decided to clean house as I assumed he would be laying all over the place with a fresh incision. I hated to use any chemicals so went on the internet looking for how to sterilize floors. Well I kept finding plain old salt water but no amounts. I decided that one pound of salt in two gallons of boiling water should do the trick.
I removed every throw rug in the house and went to cleaning with a vengeance, as I was a basket case watching the clock hands crawl around. I figured the floors and the baseboard and then any place he was able to get his paws up on at least needed the treatment.
Well if you have never used salt water on a floor it does an amazing job on white sheet vinyl! It also can make a bare yellow pine varnished floor shine like a mirror, probably from the salt reflowing the varnish. I did the floor, I did the baseboard, I did the counters, may as well do the windows and mirrors, may as well strip all the furniture throws and do them, may as well do the front porch and the sun deck, may as well do the furniture most of which is bare wood or vinyl covered. About 15 boxes of salt later the place was looking pretty decent. I removed the area rug in the living room and put it out on the porch. NOT that I was a basket case but all of this took one and a half hours so I decided to launder curtains, bedding, the throw rugs and my car. I debated doing the oven but decided to let it slide.
FINALLY it was time to call about Taff, the said "OH Taffy....ah... I have to put you on hold". THAT was the wrong answer, and until that time I did not know I was able to hold my breath for 12 minutes and 15 seconds. I was told he was fine, had come though the operation well, was the picture of perfect health, had excellent blood work ,but they just could not rouse him so they wanted an extra hour before I picked him up. OF COURSE I went half an hour early to pick him up well DA! It was around 5pm when we got back here, what a day.
They took me back to get Taff, he would not hold his head up or open his eyes for them, let alone stand, they were a little concerned. I said "Taff come" he stood up, his eyes were closed, he was drooling, he banged into the wall, he was weaving but walking. We headed out to the car and I lifted him in. Charlie drove us home and Taff kept trying to get up and kept falling down, a couple times he whimpered, not his pain whimper but his I am going to throw up whimper. I think he was getting car sick as he was obviously still woozie, he looked like a hung over biker after an all night keg party. I was starting to suspect what drugs they used, moonshine or cheap wino rotgut?
We got him back here and punch drunk as he was he wanted OUTSIDE, he lunged at the water bowl but I gave him ice cubes instead. He would not touch food. I finally took a blanket outside, spread it over his dear to his heart dirt pile and held him in my arms while he slept for about 15 minutes whiffing the fresh dirt. That seemed to perk him right up after he woke up. I bought him a "BiteNot" collar and put it on so we could get some worry free rest as I was nearing collapse from lack of sleep. Taff paced the house all night from room to room and I got up twice to let him outside. I think he was confused as he has never seen the house without the 6 sweeper bags of dog hair, and generally my floors do not smell like the ocean during a gale hahaha.
This morning at the crack of dawn he was very restless trying to bite and lick his stitches, I gave him one of the pain pills they gave me and tied him out on the porch in the fresh cool air, he is now sleeping like a baby. He does have a little swelling and pinkness but it looks OK to me so far. The stitches are so small a plastic surgeon would be jealous of the quality of the work, they look like two baby's eyelashes turned sideways, way less an opening than I was expecting. Charlie took one look and said "is that it"? I said yes dear, not quite the big cut you envisioned in your mind. My personal opinion is the gas they used to put him to sleep will take longer for him to recover from than the wound. I now know just how good our vet clinic is.
They gave me home instructions, basically make him go easy and watch those sutures like a hawk, particularly for swelling or redness. I think we are over the first hump, I hope we are over humping forever.! hahaha. He is due to have the stitches removed in 14 days, I doubt I will need the collar on that long, I figure if I get one full quiet day under our belt we will be on the road to recovery in a hurry, I also figure that him laying still on the cold concrete floor of the porch will help keep the swelling down. Hopefully the 2 lbs of salt embedded in the concrete should keep the germs at bay!
Here is Taff at the end of day one of recovery, sleeping in his collar. Thanks for all the cards, calls, and prayers, they are greatly appreciated. mfb.